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Fact or Fiction

Diary of a Cracked Metaphor: Chapter Two

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Veni. Vidi. Vici.

I woke up this morning spooning my black lab. If that’s not joy, I don’t know what is; I always try to find happiness in the little things. I wholeheartedly believe that’s the key to happiness in general. Just accepting things as they are. As human beings, we tend to always want more and more. I’m definitely guilty of constantly feeling like I never have enough in life, what’s the next adventure? Are you settling for what’s right in front of you or are you finally deciding what’s in front of you is enough?

Thursdays are the new Fridays. Since I fortunately only work Monday through Thursday, Thursdays are always more laid back and fun at work. Well, I don’t know about fun, but we undoubtedly can’t wait for the day to end to kick off the weekend. 4-day work weeks should be the standard nowadays don’t you think?

In my opinion, it was an uneventful day at work.

I got an email today for another opportunity to be a second shooter aka backup photographer for Glasser Images. I consider myself the artsy type in the sense that I can tear up some words on a piece of paper and have an impeccable eye to do well in the photography business. I just say things how they are and see things how no one else will.

But you know what they say: Jack of all trades, master of none. It’s not that I can’t choose something I’m good at and stick to a career doing so, but more of the fact that I NEED to have a purpose in life. I don’t want to go through the motions, I want to be the motion. What is my purpose? That’s the million-dollar question I ask myself every day. I don’t want to just go somewhere I belong but I want to be somewhere I’m needed.

It’s hard to focus when I hear the voice of an angel singing vulnerably in the background. He’s beautiful. My fiancé.

Back to this. I’m almost 30, and I still feel like I have no direction in my life. How can you accomplish so much to some bystanders looking in, but when it comes to how you view yourself, you’re just mediocre? My goal has always just been ‘do what makes you happy.’ Easy for me to tell myself that (and my therapist), but when I look back, it seems like it’s gotten me nowhere.

My lifelong endeavor is finding a happy medium between making a living and making a happy home. What does it truly mean to be happy anyways?

I’ve been doing some reading on happiness and positive psychology. It’s been shown that someone who experiences persistent emotions of positivity whether it be joy or showing interest, and infrequent emotions of negativity (sadness, anxiety, and anger), can be considered a “happy person.” Also, having a sense that life is good, it has meaning and it is worthwhile are the thoughts of a happy person.

I’m not going to lie. I don’t know about you, but sadness, anxiety and anger are my best friends lately with everything going on in the world no matter how many positive emotions I try to have. So, am I not a happy person? More days than not, I actually believe this. I sometimes feel like people don’t enjoy being around me or that could just be me, I don’t know. But this pandemic has me feeling trapped.

Something in me has changed. Some people ignore that little voice inside telling you something isn’t right. Well don’t. Therapy is an underrated tool. Use it. Talk to someone. Writing is also another outlet for me. A necessary stress-reliever. Find what yours is. Practice positive psychology.

Do what makes you happy. Take a trip (check travel restrictions right now though, ugh), go on a hike, take risks, dip your toes in the ocean, adopt a dog or spoon your dog. Step out of your comfort zone once in a while and maybe you’ll surprise yourself.

They say happy girls are the prettiest. I believe it like I believe my beagle’s sense of smell. When you’re happy, it definitely reflects outward and automatically attracts more people. Choose to be happy and then go from there.

Krys Merryman is the author of ‘diary of a cracked metaphor,’ a series about having flaws but not being broken in a society that expects perfection, everyday survival, strength, dignity and unconditional love.

Click here to read more from “Diary of a Cracked Metaphor.”

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