News That Sounds Like a Joke
White people living in Lawrenceville, Georgia, had the chance of a lifetime on November 16 to attend a “Come Meet a Black Person” event sponsored by Urban MediaMakers, a group for filmmakers and content creators. Cheryle Moses, who founded the group, said she read in a 2013 study that most white people don’t have any nonwhite friends. “I want to do my part to change things,” she told The Washington Post. “I have never met a black person,” one person commented on Moses’ Facebook post. “What do you recommend I bring that they would like?” Later, WXIA-TV reported that more the two dozen people showed up to share chili and cornbread, but fewer than a half-dozen were white.
Unclear on the Concept
The Detroit Police Department got a little carried away on November 9 while trying to address a persistent drug problem on the city’s east side. Two undercover special ops officers from the 12th Precinct were posing as drug dealers on a street corner when undercover officers from the 11th Precinct arrived and, not recognizing their colleagues, ordered the 12th Precinct officers to the ground. Shortly, more 12th Precinct officers showed up and the action moved to a house where, as Fox 2 News described it, a turf war broke out as officers from the two precincts engaged in fist fights with each other. An internal investigation is underway, and the police department has declined comment.
A family in Vero Beach, Florida, were rudely awakened early on November 11 when Jacob Johnson Futch, 31, climbed onto their roof to, as he later told authorities, carry out a meeting with an agent of the Drug Enforcement Agency. WPTV reported the family didn’t know Futch and called Indian River Sheriff’s deputies to say that someone was stomping on their roof, yelling and howling. When asked, Futch admitted injecting methamphetamines earlier that morning. He was charged with trespassing and held in the Indian River County jail.
The Continuing Crisis
An unnamed man in Frankfurt, Germany, called police 20 years ago to report his Volkswagen Passat missing, believing it had been stolen. In November, the car was found just where the driver had left it, according to Metro News—in a parking garage that is now scheduled to be demolished. Police drove the 76-year-old to the garage to be reunited with his car, which is unfit to drive, before sending it off to the scrap heap.
Office workers at Cambridge Research Park in Waterbeach, Cambridgeshire, England, feared the worst as they rushed outside on November 13 after watching a hot air balloon crash into a fence in their parking lot. Strangely, no one was in the basket of the balloon, although the gas canister was still running. Eyewitness Jack Langley told Metro News: “Either they had bailed out and jumped out before crashing or the balloon escaped from its mooring lines.” Cambridgeshire Police later discovered the balloon had taken off when the pilot got out of the basket to secure it to the ground.
Dunedin, New Zealand, police Sgt. Bryce Johnson told Stuff.nz that he’s seen people reading newspapers, putting on makeup and using their mobile phones while driving, but pulling over a driver who was playing bagpipes while driving, as he did on November 15, was a first for him. “His fingers were going a million miles an hour,” Johnson said. The driver, who admitted to being a bagpipe player, said he was only doing “air bagpipe,” and a search of the car did not turn up the instrument. He was released with a warning, but Johnson urged other drivers to keep both hands on the wheel at all times.
The Hopkinton, Massachusetts, Police Department cited an unnamed driver of a Buick Century on November 12 for making their own license plate out of a pizza box and markers. The plate, which reads “MASS” at the top and sports a sloppily rendered six-digit number, prompted police to post some helpful warnings to creative citizens on its Facebook page and resulted in charges including operating an uninsured and unregistered vehicle and attaching “fake homemade” plates.