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NEWS OF THE WEIRD: Week of October 1, 2019

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Can’t Possibly Be True

A Trumbull County (Ohio) sheriff’s deputy pulled over an Amish buggy on Donley Road early on the morning of Sept. 15 after the officer noticed a few oddities about the vehicle. For one, there were two Amish men inside who were drinking, and on the buggy’s roof rode a 12-pack of beer. And, according to Fox 8, the old-fashioned conveyance sported an unlikely modern convenience: a stereo system with large speakers. As soon as the buggy came to a stop, the two men jumped out and escaped into heavy woods near the road. Meanwhile, the horse, trailing the buggy, took off. The officer was able to catch up with the horse and have the buggy towed; the drivers were still at large. The buggy “is a vehicle, it’s on the roadway and the … laws do apply,” said Chief Deputy Joe Dragovich. “You’re not allowed to drink and drive or operate a buggy.” [Fox 8, 9/17/2019]

Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time

The Tennessee Titans were all fired up for their NFL home opener on Sept. 15 at Nissan Stadium in Nashville. Accordingly, so was some of their pyrotechnic equipment — which caught fire during player introductions, spreading flames and thick, black smoke near one end zone. According to Bleacher Report, no one was hurt, and flames were extinguished quickly. But the NFL, taking its usual proactive stance, placed a ban on “all flame effects and pyrotechnics used on its playing fields” until an investigation can be completed. [Bleacher Report, 9/20/2019]

Police arrived at the home of Vernelle Jackson, 83, in Norway, Maine, on Sept. 17, inquiring about the whereabouts of another unnamed woman in her 80s who had reportedly lived with Jackson. As police excavated the back yard and the story unfolded, Jackson admitted to authorities and WMTW News 8 that she was the one who buried the woman, about 18 months ago. “She begged me when she passed away that she didn’t have enough insurance to bury her, and I don’t have it. And she said, ‘Will you promise me to bury me in your yard so I’ll be close?’ … I finally agreed to do it to satisfy her,” Jackson explained. “I put her in a tarp. I didn’t carry her. I have COPD. I couldn’t breathe that good.” She was surprised to learn that she would have needed a permit to legally bury her friend in her yard, and she’s still unclear whether she’s in trouble with the law. The State Medical Examiner’s office is working to ID the body and determine the cause of death. [WMTW, 9/18/2019]

Least Competent Criminals

Two football-crazed fans of Kansas City Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes couldn’t quite pull off a heist in Lawrence, Kansas, on Sept. 16. Pulling up to a McDonald’s, the two ran inside, grabbed a life-size cardboard cutout of Mahomes and ran out, stuffing the promotional piece into their car. Lawrence Police spokesman Patrick Compton told the Lawrence Journal-World that as they received the call about the theft, they were working a car crash nearby — in which one of the vehicles just happened to have a Mahomes cutout in the back seat. Officers questioned the suspects and ordered them to appear for alleged theft. Flat Pat was returned to the McDonald’s. [Lawrence Journal-World, 9/18/2019]

Wait, What?

Paramedics responded to a home in Detroit on the evening of Sept. 21 where a man was suffering from a heart attack. But as they worked on the victim, another man took a woman into a bedroom in the home and stabbed her. Then he ran out of the house and, according to Fox2, is still on the loose. The woman died at the scene, and the heart attack victim did not survive. Police are still trying to figure out the relationships between the three people. [Fox2, 9/23/2019]

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