“You lefties will spin this. But it doesn’t matter. June 12 was the first meeting between any U.S. president and the North Korean leader,” my conservative coffee-shop friend glowed. “Admit it!”
“I’ll admit it,” I said.
(Trigger warning: If you don’t get satire, just read the closing paragraph.)
“You admit Trump is making the world safer and making America great again?” he pushed.
“I’ll admit I am in fact left-handed,” I countered. “I’ll also admit POTUS 45 has had a successful administration so far.”
My friend nearly spilled his coffee in shock.
“Of course, since January 2017, anything short of nuclear holocaust qualifies as successful,” I clarified.
“You intellectual elites still don’t understand ‘winning!’” His fingers made air quotations on “winning.” “This man is a winner! The real deal. A modern American hero! He deserves a Nobel Prize!”
I picked up my green Chai from the counter, nodded to the barista, and smiled. “Speaking of intellectual elites, last week the American Medical Association adopted sweeping policies to reduce gun violence, including stricter firearms regulations.”
“Typical lefty tactic!” he smiled. “Change the subject when you’re cornered and don’t want to admit our president is redefining ‘awesome’ in America! He’s ‘winning!’”
“Fine,” I raised my tea. “A meeting seems to have taken place that could actually benefit mankind, and I offer a toast to Kim Jong-un and our president! Two like-minded leaders working to make the planet great again! May we all ‘win’ a nuclear-free world!”
As we parted I felt grateful to have chatted. I also felt guilty for not sharing the truth.
There was no meeting.
There was no meeting between a U.S. president and Kim Jong-un in Singapore on June 12. Maybe if I say it enough times, sort of like Sarah Huckabee Sanders repeating “The president did nothing wrong,” it will become true.
The skeptical among us will need evidence. When we look at facts, it’s hard not to see what Alex Jones saw about the Sandy Hook massacre and our president saw about Obama’s birth certificate. They saw their “truth.” Events were staged—a giant hoax, a huge deep-state cover-up.
Singapore never happened.
Evidence abounds if you know how to make it.
I work near the airport. I see the Air Force One alternate planes routinely training for emergencies at ILM. There was a huge uptick in training activity in March. There were several black unmarked vans driving unknown persons from the airport to Screen Gems Studios on 23rd Street. On a dreary day in March, I spotted a man looking disturbingly like Alec Baldwin leaving Platypus and Gnome with a very chunky, smiling Asian man.
Such bits of information alone could suggest something. Add to it the weeping Dennis Rodman potcoin video. Someone (I can’t tell you who) told me when Dennis Rodman supposedly met with Kim Jong-un in 201, it definitely could have been Obama. According to another incredibly unnamed source, Kim was impressed with Rodman’s left-handed jump shot.
Lord, they have eyes yet cannot see!
Rodman couldn’t shoot and isn’t even left-handed! Obama is left-handed and has a decent jumpshot. Rodman plays it too crazy to be anything but a deep, deep-state cover.
Finally, I haven’t spoken with anyone that has actually seen Kim Jong-un’s birth certificate. Have you? That’s not too much to ask, is it? What is the deep state hiding?
The only conclusion any sane citizen can reach is the whole event was filmed here at Screen Gems, along with a fantastic action movie promo shown to Kim, and the Dennis Rodman video. It’s the most film work we’ve had since North Carolina’s own Pat McCrory eviscerated its film industry.
Wake up, people!
Thus ends the satire.
In reality, I’ve got mixed feelings about the June 12 event. On one hand I’m happy about the historic Singapore meeting. It merits a legitimate toast. On the other hand, it remains to be seen whether it will prove to be a step toward peace or a meeting of like-minded leaders desperate for a photo-op, to reinforce their power and narcissism.
I hope it’s a step toward peace. I hope it allows 45 to keep winning. Because as far as I know, being impeached and convicted of a few felonies doesn’t disqualify anyone from winning a Nobel Peace Prize.