Thanks for Nothing!

Nov 23 • ARTSY SMARTSY, MusicNo Comments

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Festival thrashes out the Turkey Day holiday

Thanks for Nothing
Soapbox Laundro Lounge
255 N. Front Street
Friday and Saturday, November 26th-27th
Tickets: $7
www.thesoapboxlive.com

put up your dukes: Monkeyknifefight will scar music lovers with their thrashing riffs and punked-out vibe, playing upstairs at the Soapbox from 12:35-1:05 a.m. on Friday. <i>Courtesy photo.</i>Black Friday—a perfect occasion to put on a pair of Goth pants and head down to the Soapbox. Really, there’s no better prescription for a post-Turkey-Day tryptophan overdose than diving into a mosh pit or concussing your head against the air. It’s the Thanks for Nothing Fest MMX—two nights of 35 ungrateful bands filling both Soapbox stages.

The man responsible for this insanity is former owner of the now-closed Lucky’s Pub and current Soapbox sound guy/booking representative Mark Fuller. “Thanks for Nothin’ Fest has been around for about six or seven years now,” Fuller says. “I used to put them on every year at Lucky’s Pub. It’s always been [held] the weekend after Thanksgiving. What else can you do on that weekend other than get a bunch of bands and have a good time?”

To recruit the punks, Fuller employed the help of Monkeyknifefight’s Charlie Smith, who booked the upstairs stage for Day One, and DIY Wilmington’s Chris Marshall, who handled the Laudro Lounge. For Day Two Fuller took on both floors of metalheads himself. The result is a contorted and vast amount of madness!

Day One: Punk Fucking Rock

Monkeyknifefight
A Wilmington band, their names are Johnny Bonobo, Dr. Jones, Sci-fi/Just Dave, and Moosecock (a.k.a. the aforementioned Charlie Smith). When they’re not punk-thrashing out their double-guitar textures and layered vocals, they like to rap about smelly breasts. Enough said.

Spring Break 1931
Wilmington’s Spring Break 1931 hates us and everyone we know. This is important to note before attending their set of quick and preposterously funny thrash punk songs. Collectively, they seem to have a sense of humor; however, individually, they are five viciously unpredictable and reckless men (they accept rides from designated-driver-ing serpents). It’s best not to agitate them with “your mamma” jokes of any kind.

Rictus Grim
Though it’s hard to guess from Mikey X Mortis’ mellow and fairly melodious vocals, Rictus Grim has an insatiable taste for human blood. Not in a vampire way, because there is nothing less punk rock than a vampire in 2010; more in a zombie sorta way, with the whole “appetite for human brains and flesh” thrown in the mix.
The Cape Fear based group plays metal-conscious hardcore punk, with double-pedaled-kick-drum triplets thudding all around their horror story themes. Perhaps the “your mamma” jokes can wait here too.

The Local Systems
In their bio, Greenville three-piece The Local Systems claims their songs are about two subjects: life and drinking. Really though, whose songs aren’t about life and drinking? The three-piece plays straight-ahead old-school punk that rattles forward under vigorously melodic froggy pirate vocals. Very fun. Heaps of adrenaline.

No Tomorrow!
No Tomorrow! was the only Wilmington-based band invited to play Raleigh’s Hopscotch Music Festival last September. The four work under the D-beat genre, music that drives at no less than 756 miles per hour, fueled by spaz-fast backbeats and drone phrases barked in gorilla manner.

Day Two: Heavy Fucking Metal

No Mercy
A deceptive hyperlink on the Soapbox’s Web page lead me to believe that No Mercy is from California, has a Wikipedia page and is playing at 5:50 p.m. I couldn’t exactly comprehend why a band significant enough to have a Wikipedia page would travel all the way from California to play at 5:50 p.m.; nonetheless, this is what the Soapbox link told me.

The real No Mercy is an all-or-nothing thrash trio from Sanford, North Carolina, and Thanks For Nothing is just as thankful to be hosting their intricate guitar riffs and brusque vocal phrasings as it would have been to have those other guys.

Grounds for Hope
Grounds for Hope, which is either a Christian metalcore band out of Havelock or Maxwell House’s new ad campaign, stands out in the demonic underworld of metal, especially when playing alongside names like Skullstorm, Hellbroth, Hellrazor and Thou Shall Burn. All six members are self-proclaimed “straight edge” high school students, and they shred and scream their theologically positive outlook over hard and heavy rock.

Gollum:
Gollum, a 12-year-old progressive metal band that calls Wilmington home, does not take its name from the character from “The Lord of the Rings,” the epic fantasy penned by J.R.R. Tolkien prior to, during and after World War II. The band’s name is derived from “goylem,” which is Yiddish for either a shapeless mass or an uncultivated imbecile. Goylem is derived from “golem,” which is an anthropomorphic being that rabbis allegedly conjured to fight off Nazis. Coincidentally, Gollum is officially sponsored by Jägermesiter, a German liquor introduced in 1935, which just means they are official badasses. A headbanger’s delight.


FULL SCHEDULE

(day one; time reversed)
Laundro Lounge
1 – 1:30 a.m. Man Will Destroy Himself
12:10 – 12:40 a.m. Overlooked
11:20 – 11:50 p.m. Wall
10:30 -11 p.m. Wasted Effort
9:40 – 10:10 p.m. No Tomorrow
8:50 – 9:20 p.m. Barron
8 – 8:30 p.m Azucares

Upstairs
1:20 – 2 a.m. Destroyed Tradition
12:35 – 1:05 a.m. Monkeyknifefight
11:45 -12:15 a.m. Spring Break 1931
10:55 -11:25 p.m. Southern Hostility
10:05 – 10:35 p.m. Rictus Grim
9:15 – 9:45 p.m. No Brainer
8:25 – 8:55 p.m. Blacks
7:35 – 8:05 p.m. Shr3dcrust

(day two; time reversed)
Laundro Lounge
12:55 – 1:25 a.m. By the Blade
12:05 – 12:35 a.m. Hellrazor
11:15 -11:45 p.m. Champion of the Sun
10:25 -10:55 p.m. Hellbroth
9:35 – 10:05 p.m. Thou Shall Burn
8:45 – 9:15 p.m. Dim the Darklit
7:55 – 8:25 p.m. Gross Reality
7:05 – 7:35 p.m. The Devil’s Ransom
6:15 – 6:45 p.m. Skull Storm
5:25 – 5:55 p.m. Wake the Living

Upstairs
12:30 – 1:15 a.m. Predecessor
11:40 – 12:10 a.m. Gollum
10:50 – 11:20 p.m. HOW
10 – 10:30 p.m. Salvacion
9:10 – 9:40 p.m. Slaves to Addiction
8:20 – 8:50 p.m. Colossal Abyss
7:30 – 8 p.m. Grounds For Hope
6:40 – 7:10 p.m. HOG
5:50 – 6:20 p.m. No Mercy
5 – 5:30 p.m. Daimonic

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